justin.ahn.eth on Warpcast

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justin.ahn.eth pfp

just had a weird parenting milestone, the 5-year-old "committed his first crime" - nicked a box of tic tacs at the supermarket 😱 hard to hide such noise so it was discovered at home quickly and my knee jerk response was to yell, drag him back to return the item and apologize, but he was scared and crying so the very kind manager ended up saying it "wasn't a big deal" pretty sure this is a rite of passage for many kids, i won't pretend to have been so virtuous myself! but still feeling disappointed that my son, who's been told to reflect and sent to bed, didn't actually say sorry in the end...

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@zachharris.eth

at least it was a crime of passion

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Arjan | That Poetry Guy pfp

Arjan | That Poetry Guy

Look around, Justin. There are very few examples kids get of people apologising. It is something they need to learn. But in this moment, especially for a 5-year-old, there is so much going on emotionally (a mistake made, a boundary tested, an angry father, shame of facing your 'victim'), it wouldn't surprise me if it was just too much. It is a lot to process. Strong to go back. I would not have that strength. I might have gone back to pay for it and apologise on behalf of the kid.

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Speakup 🎩🔮 🪔 pfp

Speakup 🎩🔮 🪔

There will be an opportunity to have this be a lesson, and you didn't do the old school method of shame and guilt.. It will be fine... Parents are always their own harshest critics..

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Anemale🎩↑🔵ツ pfp

Anemale🎩↑🔵ツ

This kind of challenge is always difficult, but at 5 years old, children aren't yet fully able to understand what stealing really means, what money represents, or why we react the way we do. Sometimes our reactions can be a bit over the top. It's important to revisit the situation in the coming days with a calm tone and clear explanations to help them understand. Rest assured, I've been through the same thing, I had similar reactions, but he will eventually understand.

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Je$$yFries 🙂‍↔️🍟💕 pfp

Je$$yFries 🙂‍↔️🍟💕

I just think he didn’t understand how bad it was. and after getting grounded he didn’t know how to express his emotions so he didn’t apologize. I have no idea I don’t have kids but been around a few. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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killjoy.eth pfp

Rough! Saying sorry was (and continues to be) a huge struggle for my eldest, but I think the truth is some kids just aren't emotionally mature enough by 5 to grasp the importance of it. We can force them to go through the ritual, but if they aren't ready it's a hollow gesture. Expressing disappointment, and explaining to them what the proper behaviour is is probably enough IMO. Sometimes I find I'm forcing my kid to say sorry just to perform "good parent" in front of others rather than because it's actually beneficial.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

Is he just past the 5-year warranty period? If not, I’d return the kid and keep the Tic Tacs

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Ismène [ ismɛn ]🎩🐹 pfp

Ismène [ ismɛn ]🎩🐹

I might blame the manager here. To say it wasn't a big deal is obviously sweet, but it might just stick in a kid's head. Hey dude, qui vole un œuf, vole un bœuf :) Et puis, des tic tac, j'espère qu’il a choisi les verts et orange au moins...

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Uriana.Art 🎩 pfp

Uriana.Art 🎩

As a fellow asian This was very asian of you 😁 I understand your feelings, but kids this age usually don't have a representation of good and bad (at least not the same as the adults have). I think that the kid didn't say sorry because he was scared and stressed and because he doesn't really understand why what he did was bad. I think that the kid probably will say sorry when he calms down and when you calmly explain to him (maybe for the 100th time, I know it happens with kids) why stealing is unacceptable with examples that he can understand. All this doesn't mean your kid will become a bad person or that you are a bad parent. He just needs some guidance. I'm sure that once everyone calms down you will find your way to solve the problem! I hope I haven't crossed your boundaries, tell me if anything I said wasn't ok!

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@chasesommer.eth

I accidently stole something too one time lol not sure how I'll react with mine. Probs just what you did

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Alberto Ornaghi pfp

Alberto Ornaghi

I'm also seeing that is so difficult for them to say sorry... still haven't understood why.

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Camila 🫂 pfp

I’m still explaining to adult friends that they shouldn’t steal glasses in bars… 😬 Maybe trying to talk to him again about what it means to take something that isn’t yours in a calmer context might help. A 5-year-old is still very young. He might need some more explanations. I remember my parents making me go back to places when I got more change than I was supposed to. They explained that if I didn’t give it back, the cashier would have to pay for it herself. And I was really worried that the person would have to pay. 😬

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hawaii🎩🎭 pfp

i committed an international crime when i was around 7... i stole a small box of candy bars just to show off to my friends and say, "look what i did!" obviously, i got caught, scolded, and cried a lot. ever since then, i've learned my lesson and kept my hands to myself—never touching others or their belongings without consent..ofc i don’t have kids, so i can’t say for sure how i’d feel or handle the situation if my child did that and didn’t apologize before bed. he’s only 5 years old and might need more time to process what he’s done.

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FeMMie 🧪💨 pfp

FeMMie 🧪💨

definitely a rite of passage for many kids. it’s a learning moment for both of you. the important thing is he’ll remember the lesson, even if the apology didn’t come right away.

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dusan.framedl.eth pfp

dusan.framedl.eth

ooof, sorry to hear that... i am a yeller so i know i'd react the same way. i'm really trying to be more patient in situations like this, but i can't escape projecting little misdeeds like these into absurdly overblown consequences later in life. "did i just raise a serial killer? or worse... a crypto day trader?" especially hurts when you had such a good run 1000 $degen 🫂

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