I find the ceremony around wine service to be cringe.

I'm not against ceremony service. IMO tea service succeeds because it has a AMSR quality due to the movement and cadence of presentation. It does not question the quality of the tea.
Wine service pulls a member of the audience onto the stage, and puts them in a position of power and expertise that no one believes.

Agreed. But in my (limited) experience top tier old money service knows how to make the event much less pretentious than it can be. Although I’m guessing that’s because they know how to play to me (commoner) as part of the tailored spectacle.

has anyone ever sent it back after the tasting

After having worked in bars / restaurants for years I agree that it’s kind of bullshit, but is all about creating an experience for the customer, and making them feel special for a moment.

A lot of fine dining is cringe generally.

It's all about getting the ceremony over with as quickly as possible. I generally take a small sip and give the waiter a nod assuming the wine isn't corked.

honestly I can't handle the markup and usually take my own if I'm drinking wine when eating out. 

Everything on a wine list is usually way to young anyway. Just not enjoyable.

agreed. i can't decide whether wine is a psy-op or if i just don't have the tastebuds for it. surely i shouldn't have to focus that hard to taste differences across seemingly large price points?

Hah ya. I always just let my wife handle it. At least you get to drink it at the end of the ceremony.