bertwurst on Warpcast

bertwurst pfp

About 3 times a week, usually very early in the morning, Assistant #2 does something… strange. He puts on a tight outfit (like, really tight) complete with weird shoes and a funny hat. Then he mixes up some mysterious potions, fills his pockets with candy, and disappears for HOURS. When he finally returns, he’s sweaty, a little wobbly, and smells suspiciously like he went on a walk. WITHOUT ME?! No explanation. No apology. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but… does anyone know what this ritual is? Should I be concerned? And does anyone have a bloodhound I could hire to look into this?

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gFam.live (UrbanGladiator) pfp

gFam.live (UrbanGladiator)

Hi Bert! Humans are silly creatures... this ritual is the balance for the hours and hours of staring at screens. Instead of doing what they want, they have to sit still for a long time in order to be able to buy treats... but that is unhealthy, so then they have to spend hours exercising to compensate. Asst #2 is trying his best to make sure he lives a long time to look after you.

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Raynaa pfp

Bert looks sooo excited

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Ife pfp

@ifeoluwafavour

Bert you're soo cutee omgg Ass #2 is trying to keep fit I guess. The candies may not be candies. I don't think the shoes are funny though. I would have loved to see the "funny" hat. 😅

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I Am Steve pfp

Sounds like your human goes off to perform some focused zoomies. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

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Waffles pfp

Very suspicious cult-like behavior

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Phil Cockfield pfp

I love you @bertwurst.eth - but I'm doing exactly what Assistant #2 is doing, right now...👋 see you in a couple of hours! Wish you could come, but that's not how the mysterious universe works.

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IamCharis.base.eth pfp

IamCharis.base.eth

Slow down Bert, I heard it’s called, “keeping fit”😅

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CRUNNELLA pfp

get him a Tractive tracker!!!

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Jules🦋 pfp

Is that you, Bert??😍

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IamCharis.base.eth pfp

IamCharis.base.eth

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ɪan pfp

He thinks he can go far without you, when in reality, he's only going fast. He'll soon know the difference and start taking you along. 😊

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arob.base.eth🍖🎩 pfp

arob.base.eth🍖🎩

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Koolkheart pfp

@koolkheart.eth

Okay, this sounds like some early morning ninja training mixed with a snack break. If he’s leaving you out of it, though, that’s a red flag!

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Ife pfp

@ifeoluwafavour

Bert you're soo cutee omgg Ass #2 is trying to keep fit I guess. The candies may not be candies. I don't think the shoes are funny though. I would have loved to see the "funny" hat. 😅

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Sarah_nft pfp

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