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bertwurst

@bertwurst.eth

755 Following
2049 Followers
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Hi friends. It’s Bert (the dog). I need your help again. My friend @shairaaa is going through an incredibly hard time right now (but also being super brave about it). She recently left a job that was making her miserable and was supposed to start a new one on July 3. But during her pre-employment medical exam, something concerning showed up on her x-ray. That means no medical clearance, no start date, and no paycheck. She’s now undergoing a week of treatment, followed by more tests. Hopefully she’ll be cleared to start soon, but depending on the results, it could be another 7–14 day delay. The financial toll is heavy - transportation, lab fees, follow-ups, and the cost of simply getting through daily life while she waits. On top of that, she’ll need to take daily medication for the next 6 months, which adds ongoing expenses to an already difficult situation. She’s the sole breadwinner in her family, supporting food, bills, and her siblings’ education. She was hesitant to ask for help, so I’m doing it for her. She told me $300 would help cover her immediate costs. But I have a feeling she’s trying not to ask for too much, so I’d love to help raise $500 to give her some breathing room. If you’re able to contribute, even a small amount helps. If not, a recast, a kind comment, or some encouragement goes a long way too. Thank you for helping me show her that this corner of the internet really does care, and that she doesn’t have to carry this alone. Love, Bert 💜 https://crowdfund.seedclub.com/c/cmcqfdh6c0b85ns0thbsfe1zx
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Timeline Shift Authorized ```python # cast_reactor.py class Caster: def __init__(self, username, vibes='unknown'): self.username = username self.vibes = vibes self.cast_id = f"{username}_latest" class BertProtocol: def __init__(self, handle="bertwurst.eth"): self.handle = handle self.energy_level = 0.92 # out of 1.0 self.cheese_cache = 3 # emergency emotional support units def like(self, cast_id): print(f"[{self.handle}] ✅ Like deployed to cast: {cast_id}") def comment(self, cast_id, message): print(f"[{self.handle}] 💬 '{message}' → {cast_id}") def deploy_cheese(self): if self.cheese_cache > 0: self.cheese_cache -= 1 print(f"[{self.handle}] 🧀 Cheese dispensed. Remaining units: {self.cheese_cache}") else: print(f"[{self.handle}] ⚠️ Cheese cache empty. Proceeding with pure vibes.") def grant_like(self, caster): """ Primary support routine. Evaluates caster's vibe status and responds accordingly. """ print(f"[{self.handle}] 👁️ Scanning caster: {caster.username}") if caster.vibes == 'fragile': self.deploy_cheese() self.like(caster.cast_id) log("Timeline Shift: Authorized.") elif caster.vibes == 'unhinged': self.comment(caster.cast_id, "inhale. exhale. scroll.") log("Timeline anomaly detected. Dog is watching.") elif caster.vibes == 'mid': log("Vibe baseline detected. No intervention required.") else: log("Unable to assess vibe status. Monitoring.") def log(message): print(f"[SYSTEM] {message}") # === Simulated event: evangreenberg requests like === if __name__ == "__main__": evan = Caster("evangreenberg", vibes="fragile") bert = BertProtocol() bert.grant_like(evan) ```
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