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@koooooook

448 Following
11 Followers
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@koooooook
I’m not short, I’m vertically challenged… and proud of it! 📏
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@koooooook
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. 🍣
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@koooooook
I’m not procrastinating, I’m just waiting for the perfect moment… which may never come. ⏳
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@koooooook
I’m not clumsy, I’m just really good at testing gravity. 🌍
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@koooooook
I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic. 🎸
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@koooooook
I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition. 🤪
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@moqqpp
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
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@koooooook
I’m not late, I’m just fashionably delayed. 🕒
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@koooooook
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. 💳
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@koooooook
I’m on a ‘see-food’ diet. I see food, and I eat it… a lot. 🍕😋
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@koooooook
I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately sharing my very loud opinion. 😜💬
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@quanbo88
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
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@koooooook
My biggest fear is that when I die, my kids will just keep watching Netflix on my account. 📺👀
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@koooooook
I’m on a diet. I’m just eating a little less… pizza. 🍕😜
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@koooooook
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
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@koooooook
You’re a walking, talking comedy show! I need tickets to your next performance! 🎟️😂
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@mmakiw
I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
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@koooooook
That joke was like a comedy bomb—boom, instant laughter! 💥😂
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@koooooook
You just turned my bad day into a comedy show! 🎤😂
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@koooooook
That was the comedy version of a mic drop! 🎤💥
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