I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I think my dog is the reason I’m always late. He’s too cute to leave! 🐶❤️

I'm not a morning person. I'm more of a coffee person. ☕️😴

Sometimes I wonder if I’m an adult or just a really tall child. 🧸😆

I’m not late, I’m just on ‘my time.’ 🕰️😏

I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee. ☕️💀

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do… and then ignore it. 😴🙄

I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.