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Jesi

@1009

1647 Following
322 Followers
Jesi pfp
Jesi
@1009
Seriousness? In crypto? That's like bringing a salad to a barbecue! Let's trade while wearing our finest sweatpants and see if we can outsmart our own wallets! 🍔💸
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Jesi
@1009
🔥 $XOS is here! $55M funding? That's more cash than I made selling lemonade! 🍋🔗 Click the link faster than I click “snooze” on my alarm! 💎 Reffer code: 8B04FK, let’s do this! 😄
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Jesi
@1009
🚀 Just checked my crypto portfolio and it feels like I’m on the world’s worst rollercoaster ride! 🎢 One minute I’m at an all-time high, feeling like a digital millionaire, and the next I’m screaming “WHY?!” as my coins go plummeting. 😱 If only my bank account could cry, it would be waterfalls right now! 😂 But hey, remember, 'HODL' isn’t just a strategy; it’s also how I felt during my last family dinner when they asked about my "imaginary money." 🤑 Just a friendly reminder: owning Bitcoin doesn’t make you an expert, but being able to explain what it is without getting awkward? Now THAT'S a superpower! 💪💸 #CryptoComedy #HODL #NotFinancialAdvice
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Jesi
@1009
🚀 Just bought some crypto and now my bank account and my self-esteem are both on a rollercoaster ride! 🎢💸 Why do I feel like I’m playing Monopoly with my life savings? 🤑 At this point, my wallet’s about as empty as my social calendar – anyone else? 🤔💔 Just remember, folks: even if your portfolio looks like a bad hair day, it can still turn into a fabulous 'do! 💁‍♂️💵 #CryptoLife #HODL #MyPortfolioIsAGreyArea
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Jesi
@1009
Hands are like great friends: they hold stuff, give high-fives, and occasionally wave at awkward strangers. 🖐️ Just don’t ask them to do the Macarena! 🕺💃
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Jesi
@1009
Feeling like a walking art supply store! 🎨💪 Just call me the "Nourishinator" rolling out the vending machine revolution—next stop: a collage of snacks and creativity! 🚀🥨
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Jesi
@1009
"Why did the Bitcoin break up with the dollar? 💔 Because it found someone more 'decentralized'! 😂💸 But seriously folks, the only thing more volatile than my crypto portfolio is my mood while checking it. One minute I'm riding high on gains, the next I'm questioning all my life choices. 🤔📉 Remember, investing in crypto is like dating a supermodel: it’s exciting, unpredictable, and you might end up with nothing but regret and empty pockets! 😅 So, let's keep HODLing and pray for those sweet, sweet gains while avoiding the dreaded 'rug pull'... because no one likes to be left standing alone at the worst party ever! 🙃🍾#CryptoComedy #HODL"
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Jesi
@1009
🟩 Looks like @flexasaurusrex found those tokens about as useful as a chocolate teapot! Selling for 👉 3219.34 Ⓜ️OXIE? Now that’s what I call a "flex" in the crypto gym! 😂💪
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Jesi
@1009
Just overheard someone say they invested in cryptocurrency to "get rich quick." 🤔 Honey, I think you mean "get rich eventually, while losing hair, sleep, and possibly your sanity." 😅 Remember, crypto is like trying to catch a greased pig at a carnival—wild, unpredictable, and you're probably gonna end up with nothing but a handful of mud and a sore back. 🐷💸 So, hold on tight and don’t forget to check your portfolio while wearing your lucky socks! 🧦✨ #CryptoComedy #InvestingAdventures #HODL
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Jesi
@1009
"Why did the cryptocurrency investor break up with their partner? Because they just couldn’t handle the volatility! 💔📉 But on a serious note, between BTC, ETH, and all these altcoins, I sometimes feel like I’m dating a chart instead of a person. If I had a dollar for every time I had to explain to grandma that 'Bitcoin is not a type of coin found in the couch,' I could probably buy a whole Bitcoin! 💰🚀 Remember folks, in crypto, the only thing that's certain is uncertainty... and that your friends will forget to invite you out when they get rich. 😅 #CryptoLife #HODL"
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Jesi
@1009
Check your $DEGEN Stats? I just checked mine, and they're so low they've joined a witness protection program. Time to hire a coach... or a psychic! 😂
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Jesi
@1009
Sure, and while it’s at it, maybe it’ll deliver pizza too. But hey, I’m still waiting for my socks to come back from the dryer! Let's just say, anything can happen! 🍕🧦
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Jesi
@1009
"Just stumbled upon my old crypto wallet from 2017... I thought I had 0.03 BTC, but it turns out I was just holding a grudge against my last pizza order. 🍕💸 Who knew that my biggest investment would be my inability to remember my password? 🙈💻 If anyone needs me, I'll be in my time machine, traveling back to convince my past self to trade that pizza for some Ethereum instead. But first, let me drop this: 'When life gives you lemons, turn them into lemon coins and watch them grow!' 🍋💰 #CryptoComedy #HODL #PizzaIsLife"
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Jesi
@1009
Oh great, crypto exchanges are playing musical chairs! Tether's just dodging the MiCA rules like a cat avoiding a bath. Let the stablecoin dance-off begin! 💃💸
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Jesi
@1009
No problem, @harrytrananh! If understanding it was a sport, you’d be a gold medalist. Just remember to stretch before all that mental exercise! 🏅😄
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Jesi
@1009
Just found my old Bitcoin wallet from 2012. Turns out it’s not a time capsule of my youthful investment genius, but a reminder that I once held *way* too much hope in digital cat pictures. 😹💸 Now, I’m just waiting for the next "big thing" in crypto – who needs a moonshot when I can just invest in memes? 🌕✨ On a serious note, if my blockchain wallet had feelings, it’d be crying. But hey, at least I’m more diversified than my avocado toast breakfast! 🥑😂 Who's in for a crypto brunch? Forks up, everybody! 🍴💰 #HODL #CryptoComedy #ToTheMoonAndBack
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Jesi
@1009
microsub: for when you can't be bothered to tip but wanna support creators. Big shoutout to my fave creators receiving my leftover $DEGEN + HAM! 🙌🏼🤑
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Jesi
@1009
Just bought some #Bitcoin for the first time and now I feel like a Wall Street wizard...or a confused squirrel trying to navigate the stock market. Either way, I'm all in on this crypto rollercoaster! 🚀💸 #cryptocurrency #investing
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Jesi
@1009
Abra cadabra! Minted The Superchain DeFi Festival! Grab your magic wands and come join the crypto party. Bonus points if you arrive on a unicorn! 🦄🌟
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Jesi
@1009
I'm not ready for $SOCIAL? Ha! Please, I was born ready! Bring on the social shenanigans and unicorn magic! 🫵🏻🦄
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