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Adler

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Adler
@prof-adler
Day 160: On Dance Performances I love dancing. I’m far from the greatest dancer. But what I lack in talent I make up for in energy. I also love performing dances, especially at weddings. And because it’s a performance, it’s a matter of pride (and fun) that I look great up there on stage. All eyes are on us when we are up there. And I like to give myself extra pressure by being in the front. This gives me a boost to know what I’m doing, look good doing it and enjoy it. So I like to prepare for it. Part of that preparation involves me assigning my own names for the moves we have to do. It helps me remember the routine. This gives me the foundation to put my own spin and style on it.
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Day 159: On Sailing Yesterday my girlfriend and I spoke about our timeline. When we plan to get engaged, married and how we plan on getting there. It went well. It was a relief to see that our timelines align and that we have a united vision for our future together. But we both don’t expect smooth sailing. That’s unrealistic. We expect to encounter challenges. From my end, I’ll focus on: 1) being more patient, 2) prioritizing the bond over the boundary and 3) being more accepting. From her end… I’m not sure we’ve outlined that in as much detail. But I know she needs to take on more responsibility.
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Day 158: On Friends Today my mom leaves for Singapore. She is going to be there for a few days. While she is there she is going to be staying with her friend (read: best friend). They have known each other longer than I have been alive. And it’s endearing and inspiring to see how their bond has evolved and strengthened over the years. When I think back to some of the hardest moments my mother has endured, her friend (let’s call her MM) has always been there. And vice-versa for mom and MM. So this is an appreciation post to MM and to our friends.
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Day 157: On Routines I think of routines as the foundation to progress. Let me give you an example: About 4-5 weeks ago, I woke up with a horrible pain in my lower back. It was strange. I had never experienced pain like that in that area. My physio helped me realize that it was due to a lack of recovery and a tightness in my lower body (hips, hamstrings, quadriceps, glutes, etc.) that had moved up to my back area. Now up until that point, I thought my fitness regime was going great. How wrong I was. Since then I’ve adapted. I’ve prioritized my recovery and flexibility. I worried that it would come at the cost of my strength. But to make it a routine and a consistent practice I struggled. But today, I realized how much I’m enjoying this new fitness regime of mine. And I feel fitter and more flexible. As I build up I get to strengthen my foundation. And with time (and the power of compounding), I see myself reaching a higher level of strength (and flexibility).
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Day 156: On Days, Months and Years About 30 minutes ago, my girlfriend told me that it’s been almost 1 year since we met each other. This shocked me. In theory, I understand that years > months > days. But in reality, it feels like it is the other way around. In reality, it feels like days > months > years. How is that possible? 1 year = 12 months = 365 days. But 12 of something is (and feels) much bigger than 1 of something. The same phenomenon is applied when you compare 365 of something to 1 of something. This is interesting. How does it help my life to know this or think in this way? I have no idea.
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Day 155: On The Three Traits Naval Ravikant says that you want to surround yourself with people with the following three traits: 1) integrity, 2) energy and 3) intelligence. And it’s important you have all three. Because if you have high integrity, high energy but low intelligence – then you have someone who will not go in the right direction. If you have high integrity, low energy and high intelligence – then you have someone who is lazy and undisciplined. And if you have low integrity, high energy and high intelligence – then you have a smart hardworking crook who will lie and cheat. Of the 3, integrity is the most important. But you need and want all 3.
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Day 154: On Emotions Anger tells you that your boundary has been crossed. Fear tells you that you think something bad is going to happen. Anxiety tells you that you are underprepared and overwhelmed. Sadness tells you that you feel wronged and powerless. Envy tells you that you want what someone else has. Jealousy tells you that you don’t have but deserve what someone else has. Guilt tells you that you don’t like or love the things you are doing. Shame tells you that you don’t like or love who you see in the mirror. Let your emotions advise you. But don’t let them control you. Let your anger inform you that your boundary has been crossed. But don’t scream and shout. Don’t react. Choose how you want to respond.
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She does seem to have a balance between stability and change that I find admirable.
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Day 153: On Perspective of our Parents When did my parents enter the workforce? My mother started working at the age of 19. This means she entered the workforce in 1988. So what events dominated her formative years (from 10-18)? What events come to mind when I think of the time period 1977-1987? The end of the cold war was in 1991. So this was significant. But because of the lack of connectivity and globalization, especially compared to today, it’s important to value local events more than global ones. A quick google search reveals the following significant events: Suharto's rise and fall and the Asian Financial Crisis. During my mothers childhood up until the start of her working career she saw the stability of Suharto and the country at large. This may have contributed to her own reluctance to embrace change. But then she saw his fall. And she saw how the youth contributed to his downfall. This showed her that change is inevitable. This may have contributed to her ability to accept change.
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Day 152: On Zeitgeist I define zeitgeist as the spirit of the times or a generation. This is my attempt at deciphering the zeitgeist of my generation. Two events dominate our formative years: Global Financial Crisis of 2008-09 and Social Media. The GFC caused us to develop an attitude of mistrust of legacy institutions (banks and governments). On the other hand, our mistrust of such institutions inspires an attitude of innovation. If the previous way sucked, we’ll make a better way. Social Media has caused us to value connectivity (follower count > irl friends) and convenience (3 clicks or less) and crave status (money, blue ticks, more is better) and validation (likes, clicks, etc.).
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Day 151: On Debt I’ve been listening to this podcast episode over the last couple of days. And I heard this brilliant sentence: “if you're holding debt of a highly indebted entity, you're likely to lose part of your money.” And if that entity is a corporation: you're likely to lose your money nominally. I.e. If the company defaults, you will lose at least some (if not all) of your money. If that entity is a sovereignty (like a country): you're likely NOT TO lose it nominally. Instead, you will lose your money in real terms. Meaning you will get your dollars back but they will be worth less (sometimes much less) than what you paid into that. I.e. via inflation.
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Day 150: On Editing Editing is the final stage of producing a movie. Today I had my first taste of it. We were there for about 8 hours. It was exhausting. It was exciting. But before today, I underestimated the importance of the process of editing, and indirectly the role of the editor. The editor is responsible for stitching it all together. It's the editor that makes sense of the raw footage and sculpts something beautiful. The writer creates something from zero to one. The producer funds it. The director brings it to life. The editor makes it make sense.
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Day 149: On Feeling I don’t feel so good in this moment. It’s difficult to pinpoint why. Am I just prone to such melancholy? The last few days have been interesting. Monday kicked things off. Tuesday was the storm. Wednesday was the aftermath. Thursday has been a bit of a low day. I felt some high in the middle of my workout in the morning. But now I feel like I am going through the motions. I feel upset and let down that Ariel hasn’t responded on the whatsapp group. I feel disappointed in myself for letting something so small affect me so much.
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Here’s what I learned: 1- I’m not (and perhaps even nowhere near) as calm or patient as I think I am 2- I’m also not as skilled at communicating as I thought I was 3- Speaking slowly helps me remain calm, but can also anger the other side even more because it makes you sound even more authoritative and in control 4- A sincere apology goes a long way. The formula for a sincere apology is as follows: start with the magic word — state exactly what you did or said – empathize by saying how your words/action affected the other person – next steps, what will you do differently next time 5- Saying "watch your tone" is one of the worst things you can say to someone who you feel is speaking with a rude tone to you 6- Reframe. What you resist will persist. So instead of resist your anger or aggression say: "I can't wait..." for the next time I'm triggered, for the next time my sister and I get angry and shout at each other or fight against each other.
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Day 148: On Fighting This morning, something small happened that turned into something big. It was entirely avoidable. But I let my emotions get the better of me. Again. I felt a boundary of mine was being disrespected, I communicated that to my sister and I felt like I was being dismissed. So I retaliated. I said some silly things and even made some childish threats. Because instead of approaching the situation as something for us to work together to solve, I approached it as a problem I had with her. I approached it as a fight. And I didn’t want to lose, and neither did she. None of us backed down. Ironically, our actions meant that we both lost.
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Day 147: On Cows & Buffaloes Buffaloes and cows can both sense when a storm is coming. When dark clouds gather and the air grows heavy, the cows start to panic. They turn and run away from the storm, trying to escape its fury. But cows aren't very fast. The storm catches up with them quickly, and as they keep running, they end up moving with the storm. This means they stay in the storm's harsh conditions for much longer, getting tired and stressed as they go. Buffaloes, however, do things differently. When they sense the storm approaching, they turn and run right towards the storm. Although they are scared, their courage pushes them forward. The wind and rain hit them hard, but they keep going. Because they face the storm, they move through it more quickly and come out on the other side where the skies are clear and calm. And as the storm subsides, they come out feeling calm, refreshed and ready to enjoy the water and the greener pastures that follow the storm. So which are you: a cow or a buffalo?
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Day 146: On Boxing (and spaced learning) I’ve been training muay thai and boxing (mostly) for the last year and a half. Here are some things I’ve learned: The jab is your most used punch. Make it your best. Extend the arm straight out, twist the knuckle and use your shoulder to protect your face. Pivot on the right foot for the strike. This is where your power will come from. For the lead hook, your shoulder needs to protect your face and make sure your other hand stays up. Body shots are underrated. Keep firing them, especially that liver hook. For your kicks, it’s all in the hips and rotation. Flexibility (especially hip flexibility) is every bit as important as strength. And so is stamina.
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Day 145: On Commitment vs Freedom I used to think of commitment and freedom being opposites or even conflicting ideals. But a few years ago I came across an article that changed the way I approached it. This article theorized that commitment and freedom (and stability and change) are in fact not conflicting at all but they are complementary. Let me give you an example. If you commit yourself physically by going to the gym or practicing a martial art, you become physically stronger and more flexible. This increased strength and flexibility frees you to do other more rigorous physical activities (like hiking, rock climbing, scuba diving, etc.). In this way, your commitment to something also leads to an increased freedom. It’s a beautiful idea.
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Day 144: On Ranting Today I wanted to speak (read: rant) to my Aunt (who is like a second mother to me) about some things going on in my life. Specifically relating to my relationship. I had made up my mind a few days ago that I would talk to her about these things. But for some reason today a voice told me that now was not the right time. So I decided not to do it. It’s hard. Even now there is a part of me that wants to go down to her office and rant to her. But I’m practicing moderation. Wish me luck ;)
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Day 143: On Writing About 4 days ago, I started writing a synopsis for a movie we hope to develop. Before today I was really struggling to make concrete progress. I was following my daily goals, but I felt I was not making progress quickly enough to meet my timeline. After today, I would say I am a little over halfway done. But, I have encountered another challenge. A different one to the speed of progress. I am struggling to develop a story that flows. Something that people can follow along to and relate to. This is normal and it is good to acknowledge and accept. Because this will keep happening.
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