when my son was four I let him eat a pinecone

husband, father, degentleman, haberdasher 🎩🥂

when i was four one of the mom's on the playground said to my mom

"I can only imagine what the boys will get her to do"

jokes on that lady

🚬🐸🎀 can I smoke weed here?  ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ   american abroad  linktr.ee/smokingfrogeth

my mom was hella offended and the way she mimics the lady's voice is peak humor 

apparently because i was/am super athletic and could hang w/ the boys in tag, on the jungle gym, and shit like that

superrare artist

๏ superrare.com/thompsonart 

(trying to improve my shitposting / caster game)



(lets go darker)

well let's see, i put my first boyfriend in jail

and it's been downhill for all the piggish men around me ever since

hahahaha thats kinda dark. cant imagine what you did to those boys ;)