when my son was four I let him eat a pinecone

husband, father, degentleman, haberdasher 🎩🥂

when i was four one of the mom's on the playground said to my mom

"I can only imagine what the boys will get her to do"

jokes on that lady

🚬🐸🎀 can I smoke weed here?  ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ  feral american abroad  linktr.ee/smokingfrogeth

my mom was hella offended and the way she mimics the lady's voice is peak humor 

apparently because i was/am super athletic and could hang w/ the boys in tag, on the jungle gym, and shit like that

sorry i wasnt begging to bring my barbie to the playground

i wanted to jump off the swings

(i did have a dope barbie collection tho... but when i started giving them haircuts, no more barbies)

it's nice not having to deal with the passing, vaguely sexualized judgements about my pinecone eating weirdo from old ladies. would take a lot not to engage.