ADHD

not sure if this is adhd bc im still learning things about it as i go, but bc i have social anxiety and stepping out of the apartment takes a lot of mental gymnastics if i have to do it alone, i literally have to have a conversation with myself like ok u have to go, there is no other choice. no one else is going to do this for u. so u have to go ok. like there’s this entire talk i give myself for days sometimes to get something done that needs me to step out of the apartment. 😭

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Many of us with adhd experience this like wall with certain tasks. It's hard to get yourself to do it because of anxiety or it's not something that gives you dopamine. Can make the stuff we -have- to do that much harder.

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yeah it’s a little confusing. because if i remove the part about having to leave the apartment bc of social anxiety its very similar to task paralysis where i just can’t get to do something no matter how much my brain knows i need to do it. 

i then have to have this internal dialogue where i’m either trying to motivate myself or i start thinking of things that my mom told me when i was younger(negative stuff about me being lazy etc) and that kinda gives me a kick in the butt to go do things now. trying to be kinder to myself and only do the former as much as i can whenever needed

if this is anywhere under the umbrella of adhd, I can’t say this has ever happened for me

interesting, though, i deeply wonder about how all the grades of adhd really work and their effects

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i thought it was task paralysis but the factor of social interactions(and anxiety) added felt like it may be just that and not related to adhd. 

it’s all very confusing to self learn haha

aww :(

I have SA as well and sometimes i'm in that place too!! it sucks