Kat Shaw

@ndspiritualist

22 Following

29 Followers

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@ndspiritualist

I know that these places make out hard in order to discourage people from taking advantage, but fuck do they make it really damn hard for those of us with legit problems too! Got a call today from a place saying they need me to reapply for ssi because they need papers from within six months... thing is I applied last year and only JUST started hearing back from them. I have gotten any kind of denial or anything either. Wtf is it with these places?

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This has been the most uncertain my life has been in a long time. I have no idea if I'm moving in a couple weeks... no idea if another person is moving in... no idea about my own finances or future... and for once I'm kind of okay with it. Anxiety is there, for certain, but I'm not freaking out or crippled in ways I have been in the past.

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I love drama so much *sarcasm* Turns out that the person I was trusting to talk to has been twisting things to make people look bad and the one I was super anxious about didn't actually say the things I was being told. This here is why I don't understand people. Wtf

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I hate goat offices so much... this is a special kind of ND hell. Things booping... the sound of crackling wrappers. Children who don't know how to eat really crunchy foods with their mouths closed... I really need to learn to bring my headphones with me everywhere.

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I have been finding that it's a lot easier to explain to people how my brain works in terms of computing. I'm not sure if that's more because it's how I internalize it or that I expect them to understand it better in those terms... either way it seems to work and if it works it isn't stupid.. right?

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This is my gaming set up... cat included 60% of the time.

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I am an animist. This means that I believe that everything has a spirit or energy to it. A vibe if you will. For me this is the reason crystals and herbs and basically everything can have some magical correspondence and use. Now, different people might vibe with a thing differently and that is okay! Someone made all this shit up at some point. I came to this line of thought with molecular structure and that things are vibrating. Whether fast or slow depending on its state.

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ADHD makes it really hard for me to function in day to day society. So... I am on medication to help with my executive function and other such things... Now I'm tired so much of the time and my head feels like I'm not all the way in my body. Not sure how much of it is meds and how much of it is me, but I feel like I've just gone from one functionality problem to another.

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I really believe that people take magic way too seriously. On all sides... The people who don't believe magic is real largely have it in their heads that people are talking about making something out of nothing. Closer to what people describe prayer as... I petition a deity, higher power, whatever for something and I'll get it with no effort. Then the people who do believe in magic have all these rules on what is and isn't allowed or what counts as magic or is a real experience. Are there people out there who are making up stuff or having crazy experiences and then pushing them off as truth? Sure are, but come on... all of this is so personal. Going around telling people they are wrong on everything you don't agree with is just such a waste of time.

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Quartz, bloodstone, and moonstone

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Itap Jiufen Amei Tea House

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Something that I've always held near and fear to myself is the idea that perception creates reality. Even if it's only in your own attitude, but even that changes how people act around you an that ripples outward. Magic is much the same. Sure, all the theater, herbs, crystals, and so on help... but only do fast as rooting the belief of your working in your mind. In the end, what you are doing is hacking your own brain. Implant a belief deeply and solidly? Boom... adjust your own reality. It's like reprogramming your own internal OS. Think of it this way. You can tell yourself you want to do something and that can work for some... but if you do some kind of ritual with changing and singing and all that? You'll remember it... and the intention sticks.

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I've decided that I'm going to start posting about the things I'm going through learning. I do a lot of study on various magic systems and adapting them into modern times, technomancy, and the ND mind.

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So, I don't think I ever posted any kind of real intro. Better late than never, right? Name: Kat Job: Apothecary From: US Onchain since: uhm.... now? Likes: needy shit, cryptids, philosophy, witchy stuff, bending the world to my needs Dislikes: dishonesty, fake people

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It do be like that doesn't it...

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Belief is a powerful tool. Perhaps that is why changing many deeply held ones can be so terribly difficult. Not everyone wants to do the self examination... or have the curiosity about the world outside the bubble they exist in. But changing our beliefs change our perspective and changing that changes our reality.

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Good luck charm bottle Contains: Pink salt Nutmeg: Luck, Money, Health Cinnamon: Success, Healing, Protection Basil: Wealth, Protection Malachite: Protection, Balance, Positive Transformation Amazonite: Clarity, Calming, Inner Peace

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