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marlo pfp
marlo
@marlo
before all this trauma healing my nervous system was so frozen that every task required a massive battle against myself. it was like i subconsciously associated action with death and my body and mind were doing everything possible to keep me still. and it was killing me i was too foggy, sick, and fatigued to take care of myself and my life, and was falling more and more behind i used to use deadlines to switch from freeze mode to fight-or-flight and get some things done in a panic, but even that trick wore out (adrenal fatigue perhaps?) i didn’t realize how bad it was until i started to experience the opposite… now if there’s something i want to get done, i just do it. no battling myself, stressing, or budgeting my energy. it’s easy and light i’ve been running and strength training. fixing things around the house, deep cleaning, gardening, and keeping up with the laundry. and all the self care once i’ve caught up to a maintenance level with my health and home, i’ll add another category!
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jp 🎩
@jpfraneto.eth
was there an actual and practical turning point?
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marlo pfp
marlo
@marlo
after starting emdr! i would often experience big bursts of energy and extremely positive feelings for a short time after sessions. then i’d go back into depressed or frozen, then do more emdr, then feel better again, then repeat over time the good phases outweighed the bad ones more and more—i believe it was just a result of eliminating most of the triggers that put me into fight/flight/freeze. then a bit of time for my body to start recovering from the chronic stress, which is pretty exhausting i still have things to work through but it’s like i have a different nervous system and things are way easier
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