How can I mint this onchain so it's enforceable?

"if I ever own a minivan, kill me"

Co-sign. 

Minivans are the Goldilocks of parental cool: (somewhat) affordable, spacious, highly functional, fuel efficient, powerful, and they last forever. 

It’s not even that hard to make them “cool” by adding a roof rack, wheels, etc.

Believer, husband, dad, optimist // Possibilities into opportunities // Design & strategy // Expert dabbler // tylerhilker.com

I could be down for that. I’m still not sold on waiting times for charging on road trips with kids, but those will improve.