One thing you should never do is speak badly of people to others when they are not in your presence. Gossiping and backbiting are some of the most corrosive social practices and the root of so many other evil phenomena. 

There is a term in Hebrew called הרע‎, pronounced as lashon hara, and translated literally as "evil tongue,” intended to underline how horrible a social practice it is that is directly proscribed in halakhic law. Likewise in Islam negatively gossiping about other people is one of the most condemned acts and traditionally analogized as being as grave as fratricide.

Instead of speaking poorly of others one should in fact cultivate a practice of saying truthfully positive things about them and spreading good news about people rather than bad. It creates a virtuous cycle and also feels good. Over time and space this can build resilient communities with high bonds of social trust and minimized conflict.

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“Never speak badly of others when they are not in your presence” implicitly benefits actors with reach, suppresses dissent, entrenches existing power dynamics, and reduces coordination for those who need it most under the guise of “pro-social behavior”

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You make a great point. What I would say is that if you have to say something bad, treat it with great gravity and as a serious thing. Often the problem with gossip is that it is done very lightly as entertainment, rather than as a warning to others etc.

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Super fair - i reflect a lot on how the nature of discourse over time shifted from “serious people talking serious things” to “nothing is ever serious” or worse “faux outrage under a cloak of seriousness”

imo the most eloquent communicators seamlessly shift between gravitas and humor in public and private

one of the bad effects of gossiping is just losing the confrontation skills - and by that i mean resolving tension/uneasy feelings in a civil way (probably discourse too).

can be true

but i think these are two parallel discussions really

in everyday life w a relatively homogenous social class-> sure, poke your neighbor. That's a reasonable burden in society

in our min-max world of Elons (and their simp armies) -> no way, the individual shouldn't have the burden to confront the BBEG