One thing you should never do is speak badly of people to others when they are not in your presence. Gossiping and backbiting are some of the most corrosive social practices and the root of so many other evil phenomena. 

There is a term in Hebrew called הרע‎, pronounced as lashon hara, and translated literally as "evil tongue,” intended to underline how horrible a social practice it is that is directly proscribed in halakhic law. Likewise in Islam negatively gossiping about other people is one of the most condemned acts and traditionally analogized as being as grave as fratricide.

Instead of speaking poorly of others one should in fact cultivate a practice of saying truthfully positive things about them and spreading good news about people rather than bad. It creates a virtuous cycle and also feels good. Over time and space this can build resilient communities with high bonds of social trust and minimized conflict.

I’ll take an opposing view for the sake of the feed 🫡

“Never speak badly of others when they are not in your presence” implicitly benefits actors with reach, suppresses dissent, entrenches existing power dynamics, and reduces coordination for those who need it most under the guise of “pro-social behavior”

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Writer, podcaster, and commentator on foreign affairs and politics. Runs /dropglobalnews

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Super fair - i reflect a lot on how the nature of discourse over time shifted from “serious people talking serious things” to “nothing is ever serious” or worse “faux outrage under a cloak of seriousness”

imo the most eloquent communicators seamlessly shift between gravitas and humor in public and private

You make a great point. What I would say is that if you have to say something bad, treat it with great gravity and as a serious thing. Often the problem with gossip is that it is done very lightly as entertainment, rather than as a warning to others etc.


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no - i'm saying that if you're "not allowed" to speak badly of others without them present, then that disproportionately benefits people who have high social status/power because it is too costly (in terms of reputation) for low status people to critique them publicly

Are you saying it’s better to speak badly of people in their faces?

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I was going to say it but it looks like you already did. Extra moxie because you’re a dude. 222 $degen

You should've started this with 'corollary:'

what he's getting at isn't about politics or power dynamics; it's more about everyday social interactions, like with friends or family. basically, we're talking about situations where whatever you say might make its way back to the person, creating a little feedback loop in close relationships.

While it's a morally awesome idea, we gotta think about how it'll shake up the economy and society from a different angle, ya know?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

So we should rather say it in their faces ? 🫠

while I agree that critical discussions are essential for progress, I think it's also important to balance that with a culture of respect. speaking with integrity, whether in someone's presence or not, can help create more constructive and effective dialogues, especially when challenging power dynamics

Criticism, I don’t mind
Opposing views/perceptions, I don’t mind
But where I draw the line is, image-tarnishing conversations of me, most especially behind my back