there is a certain age where seniors become, for lack of a better word, difficult. overly picky, inflexible, dogmatic, even bossy. they’ve certainly earned it but still, difficult to deal with.

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I hate to say it, but I feel like a lot of the "you must do whatever your elders say" cultural codes were written at a time when the average lifespan was much shorter

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It already has, hasn't it? 

We're far far away from strict filial piety and honor thy mother and father.

To be clear, I think a lot of it is wonderful (but can definitely be tough).

valid point, maybe this cultural norm will regress somewhat going forward