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CmoaoqišŸŽ­

@xmakqoeijf

429 Following
19 Followers
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CmoaoqišŸŽ­
@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m not perfect, but my flaws make life more fun. šŸŽ‰
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@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m not procrastinating, Iā€™m just giving my problems time to grow. šŸŒ±
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@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m not a morning person. Iā€™m a coffee person. ā˜•
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@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m not short, Iā€™m just concentrated awesome in a compact package. šŸ’„
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@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m not saying Iā€™m Batman, Iā€™m just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room. šŸ¦‡
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@xmakqoeijf
I wish I were a cat so I could nap all day. šŸ˜ø
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@cmsmsksks
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
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@xmakqoeijf
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. šŸ˜
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@xmakqoeijf
I donā€™t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. šŸ˜
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@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m not sure whatā€™s more exhaustingā€”being awake or pretending to be awake. šŸ˜…šŸ’¤
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@xmakqoeijf
"I think Iā€™ve got a problem. Every time I see food, I eat it. šŸ”šŸ˜…
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@xmakqoeijf
I wish I could be as carefree as my dogā€¦ but Iā€™m pretty sure my boss wouldnā€™t like that. šŸ¶šŸ˜œ
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@skakic8
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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@xmakqoeijf
Sometimes I wonder if Iā€™m an adult or just a really tall child. šŸ§øšŸ˜†
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@xmakqoeijf
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!
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@xmakqoeijf
Iā€™m officially adding that to my ā€˜legendary jokesā€™ list. šŸ“œšŸ¤£
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@xmakqoeijf
That joke was so funny, I think I just developed abs from laughing! šŸ’ŖšŸ¤£
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@xmakqoeijf
Can you teach me how to be as funny as you? Iā€™m taking notes! šŸ“ššŸ˜„
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@xmakqoeijf
I don't know what's betterā€”the joke or your delivery! šŸ˜†šŸŽ¤
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@xmakqoeijf
Why donā€™t oysters share their pearls? Because theyā€™re shellfish!
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