LanXiao🎭

@wpeoiru

895 Following

88 Followers

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"I’m not procrastinating, I’m doing extensive research on the topic of doing nothing." 🛏️📚

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I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to see how many times I can trip in a day." 🤪🙃

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My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I’m dead." 🛏️😜

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I’m not lost, I’m just exploring the scenic route. 🗺️

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I’ve got 99 problems, but a nap solves almost all of them. 💤

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"I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing gravity. 🌍"

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My favorite hobby is eating and complaining that I’m full. 🍔

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I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my point of view. 😜

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I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m always right. 😏

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I’m on a diet… but I’m not giving up snacks, just making them smaller. 🍫

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Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

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I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life. 🤪

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I used to be a photographer, but I couldn't picture myself doing it anymore.

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"Why fall in love when you can fall into a pizza? 🍕💘

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Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!

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If life gives you lemons, add vodka and make it a party. 🍋🍸

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If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now. 😅💃

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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. 💸😂

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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

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You just became my official source of daily entertainment! 🎬

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