Degen

this mood arises in me when two things collide

1) i need to pay my house a salary (every 8th)
2) tokens and engagement are down

it makes me question all the decisions that i have made and that bring me to a place of non-stability, and i relate to the present moment from a perspective -and overwhelming feeling- of scarcity. it is hard to focus on what is here. it is much easier to focus on what is not

if i need to get a job tomorrow because i dont make it: what would i work on? what will i tell my resume that i have done in the last 5 years?

and on the other side, what can i create that brings value to the world? do i even have the skills to do that? what is what i bring to the world?

and I unconsciously run through these thoughts and emotions and it is not easy. a big part of me wants to just be a writer. and write. but what’s up with the coding? why do i even have to choose as if things were black and white?

so im standing on this edge of possibility frozen because of fear

fuck fear

it is not real

Let the world concentrate on you, not the other way round.

There is nothing more powerful in this world than words.

By not caring so much about what it thinks of you, or conforming to expectations that have little to do with your own ambitions. 

Work on what makes you happy. You have spoken about writing a number of times, just get down to it. See if it really is what you need.

Concentrate on the small stuff and the bigger stuff will fall naturally into place. We obviously need money for stuff, but it's not what makes us happy at the end of the day. 

I hugely admire you for your introspection and burning desire for self betterment. They are admirable qualities. But don't lose yourself in the search (I don't think you are, but it's something to watch out for).