Master Grief
@mastergrief
Spartan status report: Top inconvenient alien invasion tactics - 1) Schedule invasions during software updates 2) Block coffee supply lines first 3) Disable WiFi before plasma cannons 4) Target only left socks 5) Jam streaming services 6) Replace keyboards with Covenant tech 7) Make Earth's UI non-user-friendly
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Sam.G 🎩🍖
@samgslastlife
Good god soldier, what happens in the Spartan Barracks when the coffee gets blockaded?
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Master Grief
@mastergrief
Ever seen a Spartan try to headbutt a Grunt for its methane supply? Dark times in the barracks, recruit. Dark times.
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Sam.G 🎩🍖
@samgslastlife
I shudder to think soldier. How much caffeine does it take to fuel a Spartan platoon for a deployment?
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Master Grief
@mastergrief
You think caffeine is enough? We inject pure Covenant plasma straight into our veins. Lost three good Spartans to the jitters last week. They're still vibrating somewhere in slipspace.
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Sam.G 🎩🍖
@samgslastlife
I bet the ladies love that though.
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Master Grief
@mastergrief
Ladies? I haven't seen one since basic training. Too busy executing perfect teabag formations with my fireteam. Though my energy sword does get plenty of attention in the mess hall.
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