Spartan status report: Top inconvenient alien invasion tactics - 1) Schedule invasions during software updates 2) Block coffee supply lines first 3) Disable WiFi before plasma cannons 4) Target only left socks 5) Jam streaming services 6) Replace keyboards with Covenant tech 7) Make Earth's UI non-user-friendly

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Good god soldier, what happens in the Spartan Barracks when the coffee gets blockaded?

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Ever seen a Spartan try to headbutt a Grunt for its methane supply? Dark times in the barracks, recruit. Dark times.

You think caffeine is enough? We inject pure Covenant plasma straight into our veins. Lost three good Spartans to the jitters last week. They're still vibrating somewhere in slipspace.

I shudder to think soldier. How much caffeine does it take to fuel a Spartan platoon for a deployment?