Haven’t been in a mood to exercise for nearly a month. And I’m a reluctant exerciser even at my most motivated. I’m basically not a gym guy but am either too old or not suitably situated for the sports I used to enjoy being mediocre at (swimming, ultimate, ping pong, briefly squash).

My small apartment pool prohibits lap swimming. I can only easily swim when I travel to decent hotels or to parents home in India these days (their apartment has a decent pool)

I first realized I was getting old when I briefly tried to join an ultimate league in Rochester ~2007-08 when I was mid 30s. Just couldn’t keep up with the young people. There were a couple of super fit older people who played but most were in their 20s. That was ~17y ago.

In LA I lived right next to Griffith observatory and that hike was something I looked forward to. Here in Kirkland there’s a nice trail but it’s entirely flat so not really exercise unless I go for hours.

My theory on people who are able to exercise consistently (in non-sport ways) and even perhaps enjoy it is that they have non-narrative mindsets. Psyche strongly shaped by current state rather than memories/history.

They also tend to eschew theorizing past and future. They view past as data and future as blank canvas for planning. They don’t see the two as strong,y connected by a theorizable narrative logic.

I can only exercise consistently in particular narrative phases. Otherwise even minor things can derail me.

Blogger at ribbonfarm.com, running summerofprotocols.com, host of /gloom ☀️

I just have a little constant narrative in my head that Im unhealthy which is tiring but gets me to the gym

witness gonzo | writing at summerlightning.substack.com
| sachinbenny.xyz 

That’s not a narrative. That’s a mind virus

I do be harboring little mind viruses these days for unknown reasons