I don't last couple weeks mentally I've been at rock fucking bottom, I hope something fucking changes soon

Sorry to hear that. If you’re able to at all, step back from news and social media a bit more often. Literally touch grass, read fiction, drink green tea, meditate, or take a bath or long hot shower. If you’ve got friends or family to spend IRL time with that helps too. If not just sit in a cafe or park and read 🫂

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I mean it's not even that I know exactly what it is it's chronic pain anx living for the last 13 years knowing that short of dying nothing is going to end the endless pain that's in my spine

Can't imagine my dude. Wish you the best hope it passes

Oh damn. I didn’t know that. Chronic pain is brutal I’ve know someone people who dealt with that and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I don’t have any recommendations but I’m sure you have already been through all of that. Still, if I may, I suggest incorporating meditation if you don’t already. May have knock-on effects