If you were serious about home defense, you would have a sword

Midwest mom in a California dad bod || Ruthlessly pro Farcaster  

Oh no, no. You would have... Fire extinguishers in every room.

These chemical fire extinguishers are designed to displace oxygen. I can operate one with a huge spray arc after multiple Manhattans, it requires little aim, you cannot see or breathe if I get you in the face, and you will require immediate medical attention.

I can also walk out of any Home Depot with 15 of them and no one bats an eye.

Also great for fighting fires which is actually more statistically likely to kill you than a home invasion.

Note* As a child me and the boys had a little hospitalization incident playing with fire extinguishers.

From then on, I knew what my weapon of choice would be.