Linda Xie
@linda
1/ Reading "The Tail End" of the Wait But Why blog post a decade ago changed my life. Since then I've been even more intentional about my relationship with my parents (very lucky they are both alive and healthy) - started "interviewing" them about many childhood and family details e.g. what was their favorite childhood memory, who were their career mentors, what surprised them when they first became parents, etc. I've heard many stories growing up but this has been enlightening and unlocked a lot for me + made us all closer * there's a deck of conversational cards "Parents Are Human" that provide prompt questions and they support many languages with bilingual cards, my parents opened up more through reading Chinese * we used Storyworth for my mother-in-law which emails her questions each week and compiles all her stories into a physical book * using chatGPT to generate questions has been great
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Linda Xie
@linda
2/ - recording more moments with them on video. I have plenty of photos of them but being able to have their voice and movements/expressions on video is important to me. I saw someone say on Reddit that the one thing they wished after their parents were gone was hearing their voice and seeing their expressions - traveling with them as much as possible esp while they're physically able to. I was nomadic for the past few years and they lived with me in multiple places (Italy, London, Oregon, Seattle, etc). They never really got to see much of the world before due to finances and work so I'm taking every advantage I can bringing them to different places now - asked for written down recipes of my favorite dishes they cook so I can learn to cook them and have them documented
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Linda Xie
@linda
3/ - we didn't always have the best relationship when I was young and we're still continuing to smooth things out but accepting them for who they are and that it's hard for them to change esp at this age has really helped my current relationship with them This has been one of the best personal things I've improved on so I wanted to share in case it helps anyone else https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html
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Linda Xie
@linda
❤️
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Sam (crazy candle person) ✦
@samantha
Despite not having the best relationship when you were younger, how did you feel becoming more vulnerable with them about documenting their lives? I want to do it but I just can’t bring myself to be that vulnerable ☹️ I had the traditional Confucian/tiger parent upbringing
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SydneyJason
@sydneyjason
❤️ I have a reminder in my calendar to re-read The Tail End roughly every quarter. I might actually just re-read it once a year, but the reminder to focus on what's important is 🔥
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