Parenting

Parentcaster

Got a new one on the way :) question for parents of 2+ kids:

- what are the highest-impact logistic hacks I can think about in advance?
- especially in the first few months, what was your experience with childcare (babysitter v nanny v inhouse etc)

available for product & web design t.me/antimofm

Apologies if this was asked already but how old is the first?

Father of 2 adopted children. Crypto enthusiast and investor since ‘17. Ape Society🔷 holder and believer. Avid gardener Doing the best I can. Happy to be here!

I have 2 adopted children that my wife and I brought home from the hospital after birth. For context, the 1st (boy) is 11 and the 2nd (girl) is 4. This is a little different from your situation, but it should work.
1. The firstborn will feel less significant no matter how hard you try to not make it so; its just the nature of the situation. Try to include the first child in the baby duties (obi not babysitting) like feeding, helping with the bath, story time, etc. This makes the first child really feel connected and responsible for the care of the baby. This helps to make them feel significant and have less animosity towards the second. 

Sending another response...

2. You will need to manage your expectations of yourself and your partner. Know that realistically, somethings have to give, so decide what can drop down the priority list beforehand, i.e., cleaning up toys, doing dishes before bed, or fix up projects around the house. You will now be 2v2 instead of 2v1, that dynamic is a doosy. You and your partner should become comfortable now with letting the little things slide.

1 more after this...

3. Do not try to tackle the big things for the firstborn, i.e., potty training, giving up the pacifier, moving from a crib to a big bed, etc., right before the baby arrives. This adds more turmoil into the house. Let things settle down before tackling these big changes. It will be better for you, your partner, and the firstborn. 
4. Last, know that you will never be fully prepared, and you wouldn't have thought about every situation and how you will handle it. That's ok!

At the end of the day, if both kids are alive, you have done your job!

Sorry for being long winded on this, and I'm not sure if this is what you were looking for, but I hope it helps! Good luck!