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marlo
@marlo
one of the cringiest feelings is when you heal a negative belief that is just so obviously toxic and wrong, and you realize you carried it your whole life and probably acted it out a million times in front of everyone you’ve ever encountered it can be scary to face the shame of looking at your darkest self and getting in touch with that feeling of being wrong. know that you are not bad or broken. it’s not your fault that you were subjected to such toxic programming, and held on to whatever ideas you could to survive if you can be brave enough to look within and bring light to the darkest corners of your being, you can find so much peace and joy waiting for you. and when you find this new light you can look back into the past with a whole new healed perspective
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jp 🎩
@jpfraneto.eth
today i told a close person that we were pregnant, and his reaction made me feel disappointed and then i thought that he really /was not happy about us/ and then i started thinking how often im aware that im not actually happy when other people share with me their success. or i see it every other persons success ends up being a mirror that shows me my own limitations -at least that is how my egoic mind perceives and filters it- and i realized that what i spotted on this person is exactly what i have done my whole life when someone does something that “is good” or “successful” or “better than what i have achieved” and it feels similar to what you said here i can still feel those inner sensations of actually not being genuinely happy about what someone is telling me and consciously decide to celebrate them regardless of that. it’s a decision that melts that unconscious pattern into love
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marlo
@marlo
i think deep down we are all just here to learn unconditional love like that… perhaps along with some other side quests haha
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shazow
@shazow.eth
oof i felt that about myself reading it, my friend told me recently that they were pregnant (who i was under the impression that they weren't planning on kids) and i had a similar sequence of thoughts flash through my mind (probably visible on my face as i processed): i felt sadness/disappointment about probably losing the friendship we've cultivated the past year (we've been hanging out a lot more recently as we started to co-exist in similar spaces), but i also felt happiness for him because he was genuinely excited about this new journey and transformation. eventually i recalibrated and adopted the happiness side of the response, but there were definitely moments of processing consequences (i lost many of my friends in recent years to them having kids, for various reasons like having to move away to suburbs to afford the lifestyle they wanted or just choosing to spend more time with other people who also have kids, etc).
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