So much of how I think about crypto has been formed in my subconscious by years of scrolling feeds, ambiently reading people’s thoughts, using live products. It feels literally impossible for me to translate that into some singular message I can package to my family and friends to try to “onboard” them

100% agree. you just need to make up a mental model based on repetition, mistakes and more important than anything:

curiosity 

you can’t translate that to other people. it’s experiential