antimeme

sometimes i fall for that old trap and wonder if i’m being subcasted and then i quickly remember i shouldn’t actually care about that part of any of this, i should only care that i’m actively tracking and seeking my own personal development, growth and accountability, and no one’s external snapshot opinion of me is any semblance of a universal ground truth for me or my character

then i also remember that im nobody, so why would anyone subcast me

sometimes i fall into that old trap & wonder why everyone hates me & then i realize they probably don’t, i just hate myself & then i realize that none of it matters anyway because i am a pseudo-anonymous so-called problematic internet herb

anyway, i’ve decided to just unapologetically double down on myself because i’m a good person & if they hate me, i’ll just hide behind some cringe shit like “there is courage in being disliked” or “real men smile when enemies appear cause it means they stood for something” but that is, of course, only what i’ll say out loud, meanwhile the internal voice will rip me a new one

so maybe i’ll hide behind something less cringe like “when we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves” or perhaps just fullsend some pinterest quote about my poor tortured soul

or maybe ill just shut up & funnel it into my work & live by “and that’s how the cookie crumbles” but then again, maybe i wont

either way people who love themselves scare me but happy for you

yappin in /midwits & creating idle rpg /animarising

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