Parenting

Parentcaster

8mo (girl) and separation anxiety starting to kick in.

any dos and donts you recommend?

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ty! normally i probably wouldn't even ask, but we still struggle with it with our 4yo. 

it's much less pronounced, but we had serious issues with getting him off breastfeeding (2.5y when we succeeded!). now we're battling kindergarten — he likes it there, and the place and caretakers are great, but he just gets really nervous and we have to expend too much energy just to get him there.

the thing is that we had a an example in family that we didn't like (kid was anxious, mom couldn't handle it so she'd end up tricking him and disappearing) that we likely overcorrected. we did all the reassurances and explanations, non-violent comms and all that, but that didn't seem to be effective.

so, now "back to the drawing board" for the attempt #2 :)

As is my role just a reminder that you’re not a bad person for leaving

You’re gonna come back and she just doesn’t know that

It’s so hard in the moment but it won’t be like this forever 

You’re doing awesome and I’m proud of you

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even for such a young age? how would you communicate it to her?

That’s so hard

I think the main thing I remember reading about is just not to disappear always saying goodbye and letting her know you’ll come back    :)

It’s helpful to maintain a consistent and predictable routine, such as keeping regular mealtimes and bedtimes to reduce anxiety. You can also help your child adjust by practicing short periods of separation, like playing peekaboo or saying goodbye in a playful way. Things to avoid include showing sudden emotional changes, forcing separation, or displaying anxious feelings yourself. Above all, it’s important to be patient and give your child time

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they are, aren't they :) 

fwiw it's the mother leaving that's the trigger. i'm the one supposed to calm them down. for now, the 8mo is actually ok, as long as she doesn't see the mom. when she does, she goes wild :)

It’s a natural phase they will grow out of.

You’re not a bad parent for leaving, and they will stop crying eventually after you’re gone.  

Just keep doing your best!  Kids are resilient.

I remember this song from music class when my kids were little. 🫂

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ty! i'm afraid my singing would just induce another kind of anxiety 😂

I remember this song from music class when my kids were little. 🫂 

https://www.musictogether.com/they-come-back

https://www.musictogether.com/content/media-files/They-Come-Back.pdf

🤣 thank you! looks like our situation. and it's probably how we'll be approaching it too.

The first one had serious separation anxiety. Self induced by me. You can actually spend too much time with them. Anyway I swore I’d not let it happen with the next 2. I stepped back and let dad bond. He’s benefited and so did i from not having an overly attached child. We really do create our own monsters.

Children feel your anxiety, if you are scared and nervous so are they .. be a fabulous actor and show them this is going to be fun, and in the beginning stay there with them for a bit so they can get used to the new people if possible .. gradually they will hopefully get used to it.. best of luck 🤞 this is always hard and all children are different 🤗