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Marcela
@laursa.eth
I've read a lot about autism and I don't think we talk enough about our hardships in regulating ourselves emotionally When I have a breakdown it's a terrible breakdown Anger? becomes outrage easily I can go from blues to suicidal in 4 min But most of the time I can be just..... blunt. Having this abnormal pattern recognition system is a burden too. Because I know I am overreacting. I know people are getting hurt/tired but unless they leave me alone I can't stop myself.
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Blue Cockatoo
@bluecockatoo
I don’t think I am on the autism spectrum or not very far in if I am, but I have had times in my life with hormone imbalance where I have not felt in control of my moods and reactions to things and felt I was “overreacting” even though I couldn’t stop myself. It feels like I am not “me” and it is frustrating. So if it is anything like that, I know it must be difficult to deal with if it is a persistent situation. I am sorry that you have to go through that.
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Marcela
@laursa.eth
yes! it's exactly like this For example, by friday i was so mad at my wife's uncle. We took a decision and he was irresponsible, but all we could do was cut him off and all he could do was fix his shit. But instead i had to handle the phone to larissa bc i got my heart beats up to 160 and wanted to scream because i was SO frustrated at my own decision of helping him and i wanted to yell at him, and curse at him, and scream on the pillow and tell him to f. off and i suddenly got into this spiral of holding my breath so i didn't yell on the pillow or to the cats but i was like untouchable for 1 hour because even though larissa wanted to calm me down, I couldn't get calmer. And i just had come home from a run, i had endorphins. i know larissa didn't have any fault, or the cats, and probably i didn't even have to feel like cursing at him, but I did. I'm still angry at him. Furious. But it took me 48h to get here.
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