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Yung Zo

@yungzo

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Yung Zo pfp
Yung Zo
@yungzo
The Markets, Geopolitical Climate, Tarrifs, and The Admin 2.0 has served as a big distraction this week and last. I don’t think I need that type of time and energy drain so I need to refocus and realign. Back to freelancing and project planning.
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@yungzo
Fears of Recession I'm fortunate that I'm able to try freelance for the foreseeable future. Yes, tariffs can and will impact my clients, which then affect me but I'm currently treading water. I've locked in a 6-month contract with higher pay-rate. I have another contract, which I need to take more advantage of, until June. My sister's company just laid off her entire Prod Dev group, but fortunate she got 3 months severance. Her company literally told the team the day after "Liberation Day" that they're getting rid of the department. Trump 2.0 admin is def playing FAFO, but apparently DGAF. I don't think he knows what he's doing and what consequences it brings, but as a marketer and con man he's saying things are intended. I think people forget how dysfunctional his last term was. Maybe this term his loyalist stooges are more aligned, but I wouldn't count in-house fighting and dysfunction. I think shit gets crazier.
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@yungzo
It's basically the end of my night. I'm trying to get some coding in, but my eyes want to shut. I think I'm actually sleeping in early tonight.
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Yung Zo
@yungzo
Thoughts / Mindfullness When I don't have time (or make time) to journal, I'll let my thoughts out on either here or my other anon journal type twitter account. Bad Vibes Just want to air out gripes. Not all clients are the same. I really dislike doing the tasks I have with one client, which was my previous employer. They're really are in a "throw as much shit on the wall and see what sticks" mode. I'm not really involved in any of the chaotic things they're trying to do. Instead I'm creating documentation and tutorials. I'm setting up meetings and going over procedures for the Marketing Team and Engineering Team. It work I really not aligned with doing, but I'm doing it because it pays a higher pay rate. However, I dread the work. Good Vibes I enjoy working with my other client. There are lots of tasks that actually involve developing and engineering. I actually just proposed a 6-month contract with higher pay rate and it looks like it will go into affect mid month.
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@yungzo
Life happens fast when too much shit is going on in your life... I haven't been doing my "mindfulness" routine, but will try. I just want to say, there's lots of stuff I can cry and complain about, but that doesn't do anything constructive. So below are some positives. > I got my annual (bi-annual) physical. Lab results good. Blood pressure has been in the normal/ideal range for the past 3 weeks now. > Fitness has been on point. I'm literally in the best shape in my life. Gradual changes was the key thing for me. Easier for me to maintain and to add things onto. > I'm locking in a 6-month contract, with higher hourly rate with my current client I took on this past year. > I'm still on contract with the company that let me go until June, but I really avoid trying to do work for them. > I have an "interview" with a potential client that has a higher hourly rate with 15-20 hours of work a week. > Family has healthcare coverage. Blessed 🙏
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Health & Fitness Progress - I’m now averaging 6 hours of sleep a day. -I still drink only 1 cup of coffee a day and 2 to 3 cups of decaf. - I go for more walks. I try to do it after a meal. - My blood pressure has been below 130/75 - I dropped a couple bounds this week. - I dropped 1/4” in waist - I can do more pull-ups, pushups, sit-ups I go in for my physical this coming week. Hopefully everything else is good!
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Health/Fitness Notables! Ever since I been monitoring my blood pressure, good things have occurred. > 1 cup of caffeinated coffee in the late morning or at lunch. > 2-3 cups of decaf (morning, sometimes afternoon, and evening) > 1 bottle (24oz) first half of the day > Another 24oz the second half of the day > I am almost averaging 6 hours of sleep. I was sleeping 3-4 hours prior. On weekends I'm sleeping 7-8 hours of sleep. I was also on a manageable workout schedule. Very basic and simple. I try to cover pushups, squats, and situps. I'm not the type to do everything all at once, so I break up the sets throughout the day. The middle of the sets are where most of the reps are. I do flexibility exercises at night before bed. I also started to add more "steps" into my routine. I'm now back to the weight and measurements I had pre-holiday parties last year. I think it's totally possible I can get to my ideal weight by summer.
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Busy Week! I'm trying to get settled. I'm at a weird area in my "work" life. I'm not technically unemployed, but I've a week removed from being let go as a full time worker who had benefits. Last week, I was actively searching, interviewing and meeting with recruiters. This week, has slowed down, but I'm busy with actual freelance work. My "backup" job, that I thought I could fallback to in the case I can't land a full-time job has basically shown some concerns since they know the salary they'll offer me is low and that I would be a "flight risk". However, they do want me, because I'm more responsive then the agency they're using now. I have the opportunity to take on tons of hours, but lower pay, if I give a 3-6 month commitment if they get rid of there current agency. On top of that, I signed a contract with the former company that let me go and working as a contractor with them as well with a max of 30 hours a week. It's higher rate and runs until the summer.
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Gratitude I’m taking this moment in my morning to share some gratitude. With all that’s happened in this week alone, with months of feeling anxious, stressed, dread. There’s a silver lining. I have some renewed life in design and development. I still have ideas of what i’d like to do, accomplish, produce and create. I’m here at my oldest daughter’s tennis practice. It’s sunny, after days of raining, and life is good. It’s easy to complain, especially about the environment I was creating for myself, but taking the time to soak everything in. Everything is good. There will be anxiety, frustration, and anger along the way, but I need to be confident. I am good enough. I can do anything as long as I want it. Enjoying the moments I have right now.
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Unemployed / Day #2 I've been having tons of emails, text, calls with recruiters this week. I've caught up with old colleagues. I confident enough to say I'll land on my feet. However, I think there's tradeoffs that I'll have to be ok with. Part of me wants to be like "FK IT" and enjoy some time away. Then another part of me feels I need to always be on the hustle to find something. I still have freelance (indefinitely) with my former coworker. I also signed a contract with the company that let me go that allows me to do contract work for them. However, I'm not sure how it works and I'm not hopping on there stand-up calls or going online there Slack messaging. I think I need a break from my old company, which is why I'm not really trying to push for any tasks from them.
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Unemployed I think things still are settling and I'm kind of going with the flow. First day was more of a "I'm not surprised, but I'm surprised" type of vibe. Third day in, it's sinking in, but trying not to stress. I have some runway, but I also want to make good use of time and skills before my mind goes to shit. A good reflection and writing session should help this. For now, will just kind of post random thoughts/feelings here.
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The Shoe Dropped! TLDR: I was just let go of today. I got a month's worth of severance and offered contract work for the time being. I'm just thinking things through and letting things settle in first. This is kind of my mind dump of everything and how I'm feeling, thinking, and just going through it. ... I posted earlier that I used ChatGPT to help update my resume. For the past month or since start of the year, there has been a weird vibe from the workplace. No one really saying anything, but the tea leaves were there. The feeling I had last month about just waiting for the shoe to drop, well it dropped today. It was weird. I'm not surprised, but still weird. Just this weekend I did some work, because my Director of Marketing called me up about something.
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NGL, when ChatGPT/AI came out. I was turned off by it. People kept saying how great it is, this and that. I tried it here and there, but was like "whatevs". More recently though, I've started using it. Now that I have purpose in using it, it's been a great tool. I had it update my resume. I had it helped me with coding. I had it help me come up with a plan to lower my blood pressure. It's very cool tech, that I can understand now and see how it can give "google" search competition.
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Reflecting The past month’s have been crazy and the amount of sleep I get at night is already horrible, but I probably avg 3-4 hours of sleep during the past months. I stressed about work, family, geopolitical and national news. Towards the end of Feb, the freelance project I worked on officially launched. My regular 9-5 job still has same issues, but my worries have subsided for now. I got an interview with another company. I don’t know if the state of where I’m at is currently “the dust settling”, but my health and mental state are just in need of rest. Physically… greatest shape in my life, but i’m always tired and irritable. I’ve been finally getting more sleep and averaging close to 6 hrs. My weight is back down to where I’d like. My eating habits are normal, no snacking on animal crackers. I’m also cutting down caffeine. However my blood pressure just has been higher than usual and I’ve been monitoring for a week. I’m taking gradual steps to help lower it.
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@yungzo
Maybe this is just me. The number of cycle's I've been in. My age. The bullshit you see the industry goes through. Even if there was an actual bullish catalyst pumping things right now. I just feel so disconnected from it right now. I'm also not holding anything large in crypto anymore. I just feel so.... "bleh", with Trump and his family and crime friends manipulating things. It's just a different level of grift. Maybe it's one thing if the markets were pumping, but seems like everything is shit right now and clearly manipulated for him to extract as much liquidity as possible.
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Sleep I'm feeling refreshed today. I've been going to sleep earlier this week. I've been trying to be in bed before midnight. Today I snoozed through my first alarm and woke up an hour later. I got a full 6 hours of sleep. My weekly average is now above 6 hours of sleep. My goal is to get the monthly average up to 6 hours.
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I'm having the worse headache ever. I had an interview today. I'm not sure how I did, but I think i did "ok". I don't know why, but I don't feel hopeful for the economy. All of the tariff talk. All this fkin pumping of the chest with this Trump and his Admin. It just doesn't make any sense. The people that praise him and follow him, really make me think half the country is dumb as fk. It's very very very unnerving. Oh, and I just derisked more and took sold off positions (retirement and trading accounts). I either hold small amounts of positions or just only a position of $TIP. I just do not feel hopeful for the country. It just feels like shitsville, but CT be like "Ohhh that's a strong president that we need. We need that type of language and talk. We're so back!"
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Got a new phone finally. iPhone 7+ to a iPhone 16. I literally had to upgrade because all the apps I used weren’t being g supported by iPhone 7 hardware. Anyways, took a long time for warpcast/farcaster to confirm my account t but now I’m back. *le sigh*
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I'm eating like shit lately. Craving sweets, drinking coffee, eating my kids animal crackers and chocolate chips. LOL. I've been down this road and I know where I'm headed if I don't snap out of it. I have been stressed and sleep deprived. I've also been stressed and anxious lately. I'm swamped with work (full time and contract), but I have anxiety over my future. I think it's a possibility that I can be let go of at my full time position. Just reading the tea leaves, company looking for more funding, budget cuts, weird slack vibe (no messages), team morale. Rumblings of people being asked to either convert to contract work or resign. Also looking at the job market and flood of web developers, but lack of hiring. More tech layoffs, etc. It's a weird feeling, but it's one of those feelings where I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. The Trump admin is really unnerving to me, but it's out of my control. I do what I can and it just feels like we all have to survive and hope for the best. Weird Times!
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Being Sleep Deprived The older I get, the more I get affected by sleep deprivation. When I was younger, I could just bounce back. I could sleep anywhere (on the floor, couch, a box) and wake up without any issues or any achy muscles. Now, if I fall asleep on a chair, the couch, too many pillows, etc it throws my alignment off. I've set a goal for this year to avg 6hrs of sleep. So far, I'm not meeting those numbers. I'm averaging 5hs of sleep a night. In reality, its more like 3-4 hours a night then I make it up on the weekend (but not really). This past week wasn't great as I was stressing myself to get going on a freelance project I'm working on. New week, new outlook, new perspective. I had a good reset last night, even though it was hard for me to wake up. I had my cup of coffee already and I'm ready to hit the road running today.
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