Koowmjo🎭

@xmajdj

118 Following

29 Followers

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I’m on a 30-day diet… so far, I’ve lost 15 days. 🕒

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I’m not procrastinating, I’m just waiting for the right moment… which may never come. ⏳

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I’m not procrastinating. I’m just prioritizing my naps. 🛏️

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My favorite hobby is eating and complaining that I’m full. 🍔

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I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee. ☕

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Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

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I have a black belt in keeping it together... for about 10 minutes. 🥋😆

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I told my dog he was a good boy. He looked at me like, "I know, human. I’m the best.

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I’m not a morning person. I’m more of a ‘please don’t talk to me before coffee’ person. ☕🙅‍♀️

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I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it "clicked."

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My diet is like a software update. It takes forever to start, then I get distracted. 🖥️🍕

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I used to be a photographer, but I couldn't picture myself doing it anymore.

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I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need a nap. 😴💤

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I’m not sure if I’m adulting today, but I’m definitely surviving. 🤷‍♀️🍕

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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort. 🏰🧸

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I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

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I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

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That was so good, I’m considering forwarding it to my therapist. 😜

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I need a minute... I’m still recovering from that one! 😜

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