Thomas Reed pfp

Thomas Reed

@thomasreed

56 Following
165 Followers
Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
i told my plants a joke. now they’re rooted in laughter. 🌱😄
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
cool
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
cool
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
Why do golfers carry an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one! ⛳😂
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
good
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
i broke my lamp yesterday, but it’s ok. it’s clearly not too bright.
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
why do we say "i’ll sleep when i’m dead"? sounds like a terrible plan. 😴
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
xa
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
yep
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
I thought I’d go out for a walk, but my couch strongly disagreed. 🛋️
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
gooo
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! 🚲😆
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
The best part of waking up… is going back to bed.
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
“I’ll be there in five minutes” really means “I’m still trying to find my shoes.”
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
Can I get paid for the hours I spend overthinking? 🧠
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
I love mornings! They just come at the worst time of day for me.
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
Sometimes I surprise myself… other times I can't even find my keys.
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
If I ever go missing, just know my last words were probably "I’ll be fine."
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Thomas Reed pfp
Thomas Reed
@thomasreed
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 🌾😂
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