Thomas Reed

@thomasreed

56 Following

122 Followers

Thomas Reed pfp

why don’t oysters donate to charity? because they are shellfish. 🦪

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

i tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never really took off.

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

i hate to brag, but i’m really good at my job. I’m a professional procrastinator.

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

the other day I told my wife I needed some space... so she locked me out of the house.

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

i don’t really understand electricity... but i’m shocked by it every time. ⚡

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

Every time I clean my room, I find things I didn’t even know I owned. 🧹

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

i told myself i’d eat healthy this week… then pizza happened. 🍕

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

laundry piles up faster than my willpower to do it.

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction

Thomas Reed pfp

I tried budgeting, but then snacks went on sale. 🍫

0 reply

0 recast

0 reaction