people talk about solana ux but every time i've wanted to swap in phantom i've had transactions fail 5+ times before going through. is this better or worse ux than paying $50 for a swap when the chain is under high load?

Solana is already reaching its limit. Sonic chain is there to pick up on that with its real time finality.

sonic not vaporware? andre has been making some bold claims on the other app that sound mostly like bullshit

Nah, it's actually really good. Bridge like 10 bucks using debridge and try it. Use Shadow (shadow.so) they are actually built for the chain (websocket for communication). Most exchanges are still cookie cutter uniswap-interface which is built for the last generation chains which means it's not taking advantage of Sonic's fast finality.