slack>matrix>irc>discord sorry i dont make the rules

I'm good at making mistakes. Sometimes I improve, but I never make the same mistake twice.
https://makemake.site

elaborating:
slack - really good for keeping conversations organized. that is if you dont have a morbillion channels for all kinds of things but the search helps

matrix - discord but owned by you, just werks

irc - doesnt work

discord - child molester grooming application

IRC works and has worked forever. There's a reason your linux distro's preferred community is hosted there.

i mean it works for basic chatting, sure. but anything more and it absolutely shits the bed ux wise

Not only did you not make the rules, you clearly don't understand them.