My relationship is at this crux where my girlfriend (correctly and fairly) needs me to communicate that I want to eventually take the next steps: propose, get married and all. But I just have no idea what to do. My brain is telling me no, but I feel this visceral loss and emotional sadness when I think about not being with her. Very conflicted. 

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The advice my therapist gave me was decide whether this person is “enough” for you. Often we’re caught up in having all of our boxes checked, but most of the time, we can all deal with 90% of them being checked. 

Dating culture tells us to never settle. But when you’re with someone long term, you and them change. It becomes less about what they can offer and more about what they’re willing to give and change? If you get my point.