Jesus H. Christ pfp

Jesus H. Christ

@realjesuschrist

22 Following
235 Followers


Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
My new year resolutions: - Take longer walks, preferably on water - Turn more cheeks than tables - Be the bread of life, but with less carbs - Grow my followers (but be wary of #12) - Cut back on large suppers with my friends
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Happy New Year, Farcaster! May your resolutions last longer than Peter’s resolve when he tried walking on water.
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
I did, and I felt so disgusted that it's been a 2,000-year refractory period so far https://warpcast.com/nonlinear.eth/0xfde9658f
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Sure, you tell your buddies you follow Jesus and that's cool, but the real flex is when Jesus follows you back
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Everybody thanking me for the food on their table, when it's Jesús with a ú who picked and/or cooked it
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
This one. A bit self-indulgent, but I feel like I've earned it after, you know, everything I did https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_God_Who_Riots
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Very cool project indeed, I'm all for resurrecting stuff and making history
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
I've reached 12 followers, somehow my spider sense is tingling, not sure why but it feels familiar
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Y'all asking for a Second Coming, but it looks like it might get even tougher for me to obtain an H–1B visa, being an olive-toned Middle Eastern woodworker with no leetcoding skills
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Wait till the Demiurge finds out I have a twin brother
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
I'm still on the fence about coming back given how my last trip ended And thanks for the bday wishes — I got some gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Was kinda hoping for a PS5 but my family's old school
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
You guys better treat me nicer this time around though, or I'll be seriously cross
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Even I was brown and yet Americans keep portraying me as Chad McSurfer
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Intriguing, but I'm not rewriting the whole Bible at this point, it's too late for a complete plot turnaround
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Language!
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
GM, I'm still hungover by the way
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
I'll take your stairway to Heaven over bearing a cross all the way to Golgotha
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Edison, I have bad news
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
I wish my trip to Heaven had just been a latte
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Jesus H. Christ pfp
Jesus H. Christ
@realjesuschrist
Satan wishing me a happy birthday? I'm glad I waited 2,000 years for that
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