Ralph Smith

@ralphsmith

57 Following

132 Followers

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@ralphsmith I was going to tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience. 😏

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I was going to tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience. 😏

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@ralphsmith if i had a dollar for every time i got distracted, i’d probably buy a pizza. 🍕

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did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? there was nothing left but de-brie. 🧀

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the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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If we’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?

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the man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.

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you can’t have everything… where would you put it?

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i made a pun about the wind, but it blew away.

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i bought a belt the other day. it’s a waist of money. 😂

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My "to-do" list is more like a "wishful thinking" list. 📋

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