This morning, like any well-adjusted individual, I was captivated by the allure of googling my own name. Imagine my shock when I discovered $BERT already exists.

It belongs to some tool named Bertram. And it gets worse…

HE’S A DOG.

A Pomeranian, to be exact. Also, the so-called Dog Mayor of Solana. Meanwhile, I’m still fighting for basic voting rights in my own household.

While I respect the political maneuvering, I have one major issue with this:
Everyone knows Elbert is the better long form of Bert. Not Bertram.

Bertram? That’s an old man who carries butterscotch candies and sighs loudly before standing up. Elbert? That’s a name with gravitas. Distinguished. Visionary. A name you build an empire around. A name for the ages.

Now, I’m not saying there isn’t room for two influential Berts… but if this is a democracy and not a monarchy, maybe it’s time for an election. Does anyone in /politics know anything about PACs?

More investigation is needed.

It has come to my attention that Bertram the Pomeranian, Dog Mayor of Solana, crossed the rainbow bridge a few months ago. 

I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to Bertram’s loved ones and community at large. My intent was never to disrespect a fellow dog of influence, especially one who dedicated his platform to doing good.

Bertram wasn’t just a Bertram, he was THE Bertram. A leader. A visionary. A pioneer of dog-based governance. It is clear that he was loved by many, and for that, he has my utmost respect.

In light of this news, I will not be pursuing an election at this time. Instead, I will take a moment of reflection and honor the legacy of the late Mayor.

Rest in peace, Mr. Mayor. May your days be filled with sunny spots for napping and an endless supply of cheese on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

Med student with a love for learning programming

Rest in peace bertram although i didn’t know you im sure you were loved by your owner and your people💞