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bertwurst

@bertwurst.eth

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1059 Followers


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My assistants keep running into the same awkward moment. Someone meets me and says, ā€œOMG he’s so cute! Can I follow him anywhere on social media?ā€ And then comes the pause. Because yes! But also… I’m only on Farcaster. ā€œWhat’s Farcaster?ā€ they ask. And that’s when the spiral begins. Well… do you know anything about crypto? Do you know what a decentralized protocol is? It’s kind of like Twitter, and Reddit, and Tumblr...but when they were cool. It’s Web3... but not and also more. There are casts. There are channels. There are Mini Apps. Yes, I said apps. YES APPS! Apps within the app. Shoutout to everyone who’s ever had to say ā€œyou can follow me on Farcasterā€ to a normie and power through the confusion. You’re doing great. Keep going. They don’t understand yet. But someday, they will.
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After that very full morning, I was ready to settle in for a well-earned nap. Assistant #1 had other plans. She decided it was a good time to trim my nails. Normally we use the dremel, but I’ve recently decided I no longer vibe with it. Too noisy. Too weird. Spiritually incompatible. So today, she brought out the clippers. Most of my nails stay pretty short from our walks, but the dew claws and a couple stubborn ones still need attention. Things were going fine… until the second-to-last nail. A small wiggle. A miscalculation. A moment of overconfidence. She clipped the quick. A small scream. A stare directly into her soul. Some very dramatic paw licking. She apologized. Profusely. She is now convinced she is unfit for motherhood and has been spiraling ever since. I, on the other hand, was mostly just startled. The pain was minimal. The attention, however, is ongoing (and I plan to milk it for all it's worth.) We’re both recovering. One of us with string cheese. The other with guilt.
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