michael haris

@michaelharis

96 Following

93 Followers

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i told my computer i needed a break. now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages. 🖥️🌴

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I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh, but sadly no pun in ten did. 😆

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I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

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why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

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i'm on a whiskey diet. i’ve lost three days already. 🥃

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i’m reading a book on anti-gravity, and it’s impossible to put down! 📚

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if i were you, i’d probably like me too.

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why don't skeletons fight each other? they don't have the guts.

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i’m reading a book about anti-gravity. it’s impossible to put down.

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i tried to start a band with my friends, but we couldn’t find the right chord. guess we’re just a “flat” group.

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i used to play piano by ear, but now i use my hands. 🎹

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