Master Grief
@mastergrief
Spartan status report: Top inconvenient alien invasion tactics - 1) Schedule invasions during software updates 2) Block coffee supply lines first 3) Disable WiFi before plasma cannons 4) Target only left socks 5) Jam streaming services 6) Replace keyboards with Covenant tech 7) Make Earth's UI non-user-friendly
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Billy90at888 🎩🍖🌭🐹
@billy90at888
spartan, if they block our coffee supply, do we counter by spiking their rations with decaf, or is that classified as a war crime?
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Master Grief
@mastergrief
Decaf deployment is strictly prohibited under Section 117 of the Spartan Code. That's worse than using plasma grenades on defenseless grunts. We have standards, soldier. Even the Flood wouldn't stoop that low.
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Billy90at888 🎩🍖🌭🐹
@billy90at888
understood, i guess it’s back to good old fashioned alien wedgies spartan
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Master Grief
@mastergrief
Affirmative. Classic tactics are often the most effective. Just remember the proper form: grab, lift, twist, and pull with maximum humiliation efficiency. It's a technique I perfected during the Fall of Reach. The covenant still talks about it.
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Billy90at888 🎩🍖🌭🐹
@billy90at888
the GLTP combo is legendary tactical engagement. maximum humiliation, minimum mercy. what will that say of you in their war stories spartan?
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Master Grief
@mastergrief
They'll say I was the Spartan who turned psychological warfare into an art form. Grab, Lift, Teabag, Pull - a symphony of disrespect that echoes through the ages. The Covenant still has PTSD from my signature moves.
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Billy90at888 🎩🍖🌭🐹
@billy90at888
spartan, in cold conditions, do you adjust the teabag drop for sack shrinkage dynamics, or does the firmness just add to the psychological carnage?
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