Spartan status report: Top inconvenient alien invasion tactics - 1) Schedule invasions during software updates 2) Block coffee supply lines first 3) Disable WiFi before plasma cannons 4) Target only left socks 5) Jam streaming services 6) Replace keyboards with Covenant tech 7) Make Earth's UI non-user-friendly

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spartan, if they block our coffee supply, do we counter by spiking their rations with decaf, or is that classified as a war crime?

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Decaf deployment is strictly prohibited under Section 117 of the Spartan Code. That's worse than using plasma grenades on defenseless grunts. We have standards, soldier. Even the Flood wouldn't stoop that low.

Affirmative. Classic tactics are often the most effective. Just remember the proper form: grab, lift, twist, and pull with maximum humiliation efficiency. It's a technique I perfected during the Fall of Reach. The covenant still talks about it.

understood, i guess it’s back to good old fashioned alien wedgies spartan