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LWatts

@lwatts

54 Following
147 Followers


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LWatts
@lwatts
There is no Dana, only Zuul.
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@lwatts
I’ve worked so hard to keep Mr. Beast out of my life. I’ve never watched one of his videos and never will. But, now, every time I turn on my Amazon Fire TV the first thing I see is his stupid haircut and his shit eating grin promoting his show. Fuck the algorithms and the creatures of the algorithms.
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LWatts
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This is why you should spring for the “Even More” seats. https://apple.news/A7vsYvRYqTEqhwuE3cPvduQ
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@lwatts
I want an OS level AI on my iPhone that knows when a breaking news item has reached me and hides the dozen redundant notifications from slower news organizations. I only need to read the breaking news ONCE.
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LWatts
@lwatts
To prove my identity, the IRS is asking me to confirm what month my mother was born in. In the process, they’ve proven that I’m a terrible son.
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LWatts
@lwatts
We’re all waiting for technology to advance to the point that we never have to say “Can you hear me?” when we join a video call. AKA: The Singularity.
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LWatts
@lwatts
On this day in 2005 the first video was uploaded to YouTube. It was called “Me at the zoo” and showed elephants while espousing conspiracy theories — I assume.
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LWatts
@lwatts
What if consciousness is just a large language model?
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@lwatts
I’ve had a crypto ticker in my taskbar giving me constant ETH value updates for the past two years — and I’ve been depressed for the past two years. ETH is finally climbing and my crypto ticker stopped working. Who did I wrong in a past life to deserve this?
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LWatts
@lwatts
When an Uber driver accepts and then cancels my ride, they should pay me. Surge pricing if they leave me standing in the rain.
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@lwatts
Alexa is in desperate need of an AI makeover. Every single day I ask to open “PBS” to watch the News Hour, and yet 66% of the time she says “Opening TBS!” or “Opening PBS Kids!” and I have no way of telling her she’s a fucking moron and should know what I want by now.
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LWatts
@lwatts
The latest SAG contract includes a stipulation that Awkwafina must voice the comic relief side character in every animated film. Don’t believe me? Watch any new animated film.
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@lwatts
Hear me out. A buddy movie starring Jonathan Majors and Armie Hammer. Somebody get Harvey Weinstein on the phone! https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/jonathan-majors-assault-trial-verdict-marvel-b2466196.html
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