internet diary

I was thinking this morning about how much of a negative impact being raised catholic had on me, and I remembered this meme I saved 3 years ago. being told that god is watching everything you do instilled so much anxiety and fear into me as a small child. it led to obsessive compulsive behaviors — like I had to pray every night (every prayer I knew) before I went to sleep because I thought if I didn’t, some abstract “bad” thing would happen. or when my mom was away, I believed I had to pray or she might get in a car accident on the way home. I would say hail marys 40, 50 times before I went on any trip even though I didn’t necessarily believe in it, it was just that I had to do this ritual in order to feel like everything would be ok. 

I’m trying to move away from a lot of the fear that was instilled and perpetuated within me and look at god and divinity in a different way, not as a punishing force but one of love and joy.

artist 🗡️ ✨

https://www.tinyrainboot.com/

> look at god and divinity in a different way, not as a punishing force but one of love and joy

catholics that don't operate from this place of love are missing the point, and it's always really sad to see

great post, deep stuff thanks for sharing