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I remember I had the opposite problem. When I started first learning how to program when I was about ~13 yrs old or so, I remember having a difficult time.
The difficulty wasn't in knowing what a variable was, that it was memory somewhere on the computer saved at an address somewhere, while I didn't know exactly what that meant, I had enough of an understanding to grok it enough to use it. What I didn't understand was, what was a variable, and was, why was it called a variable, and how do variables work in the world, why did they choose it, who made it and kept going down a rabbit hole.
In other words, engineering inherently requires you to almost suspend this rabbit hole about diving into the philosophy and larger societal implications about what these things, and the consequences, and how it challenges norms, and disrupts notions of traditional representations of concepts, or what the philosophical meaning is -- if you don't suspend you dont get to the next step 4 replies
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A lot of art, and philosophy and things like this comes from questioning the world, deeply and challenging conventions. For example, wanting to express something about how sweatshops are causing terrible harm and you buying H&M or Zara for example -- and wanting to make art about it, in some way might come from a deep need to understand where your clothes actually comes from
There is this inquisitive nature, or a larger perspective of the world is not always the most compatible imo with deep engineering, because you need to be more enamored by the deep rabbit whole that the physical universe, or the digital universe is, in some ways. So more often than not, you either don't have the time, or the opportunity to deeply look into these things.
Every time a new technology is introduced, we often have to speed run economic systems and political systems because paradigm shifts then we are societally forced to figure out the interplay of economic / political agents all over again, i.e. consequences of the tech 1 reply
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Also when I was 4 or 5 years or so, my piano teacher was a wonderful Ukrainian lady who used to teach at the music conservatory. After I started taking lessons, she told me if I really wanted to -- I could work towards becoming a concert pianist, or a professional pianist because she felt like I had the potential. I had to practice though, and I had absolutely no interest, so that didn't happen. But my appetite to learn to play music, and learn different arts didn't end there
Over the years, in a few vocations I feel like I had similar things happen a few times - where teachers of various sorts would tell me I had a ton of potential and if I kept going I could be great. There was often a sense that I wanted to give it a shot, but would end up disappointing them because I would invariably get bored of it, or would not be my path, and they would often get upset at me (consciously or subconsciously) 3 replies
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Honestly so much of this is trial and error, and you should give yourself the room to fail. Initially, I felt a lot more guilt, but overtime, I started to realize that you could just do whatever you wanted. I guess what I didn't realize though, in order to do whatever you want, you have to try things, and then fail at things. I remember reading about the fail fast stuff - you'll get there quicker. What I wasn't aware of is, just exactly how many times I had to fail. I've lost count obviously, but I think a lot of my past work has been a mistake after another that I made in various forms
Often, I remind myself - this is good for next time. And magically (well not magically) I don't make the same mistake again. I also find that most of this is a process of self-discovery. I learn about who I am, what I like to do, what I'd like to be - and its a self discovery process in that way. I have to let myself learn, I feel like a parent, letting a child learn about the world even though they will go thru hardship 1 reply
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