today is my mothers birthday. i don’t have her a present that i bought, and im thinking of the word presence and its relationship with present. we take going to a birthday and bringing something you bought as a gesture of appreciation. but i believe there is power and strength in the relationship that can be cultivated inside by having this person alive inside you throughout the day. my present is to hold you in the presence of love, inside me. that’s what im exploring today, as a vehicle for gratitude. she is the reason why im here. and writing these words allows me to feel that with a little bit more of clarity. im kind of tired of going around looking for something to gift for situations like this, as i have always done. why is that the default? why do we need to offer gifts? what are we not giving because of that? what am i not giving because of that? im not sure tbh. im only sure that i want to explore new ways of being. and new ways to relate to what’s important

what do you like being gifted?

(also maybe this is just an excuse for not having done enough to find her a nice gift tbh)